San Antonio – November 11, 2012
My second destination race this year and my goal was to execute a better mental race than Phoenix. I always have a time goal but was trying hard to just focus on the mental race since I had fallen apart during the Phoenix half. A couple weeks before the race I started to have issues with my knee so I had been taking it easy. Our first full day in San Antonio, Coach (Sharon) had us all head out for a run. I really didn’t want to go because I wasn’t sure how my knee would feel. I almost didn’t want to know if there was still going to be pain/discomfort until I started the race. Well, I did have pain and until the race I felt my mental state about the race was wobbly. I was fussing about dealing with knee pain for 21.1k. Could I stay mentally tough?!?
Saturday night we sat down as a group and worked through a race plan that Sharon had found. It was so great to share our strategies/fears/expectations for ourselves. I found this extremely helpful to see I wasn’t alone in having fears and to hear what other people said to themselves to help them through. The one that stuck out the most was Sharon talking about being able to say at the end of it, “I did the best I could TODAY.”
Race morning, as usual, I was relaxed and being surrounded with my best friends was perfect. High fives and hugs and then we were off. Usually I run a race by myself so started off trying to do my beginning race pace. Knee started to bug me about 300m in. The heat and humidity were another factor. I looked at my watch to see I wasn’t near my usual pace. At about 15 minutes in, I glanced back and saw the other 3 girls not far behind me. This was my TSN turning point. I thought to myself, today is not going to be a day to have a personal best or even try to get near the time goal I set for myself. Today is the day I run with my friends and experience a race by their sides. So I slowed down, moved over to their side of the road and joined them.
Until around km 11, the four of us stuck together, taking turns running in pairs in the front. We read signs, high fived the crowd, laughed at me getting stabbed in the leg with a rake by a volunteer who was raking up cups and checked out running gear. Sometime after the km 11, Mel and I got separated from Jen and Marnie. It was at this point I turned my focus completely away from myself and my knee. I thought of my kids with me in my pain cave, jumping around on a couch. I thought of my good friend Natalie, who lost 5 members of her family on this day 15 years ago and how she is the poster child for resilience and being resilient was what I needed to be. I thought about how blessed I am to have a husband who supports my running. At about km 15, the race became about Mel. I pretty much talked to her the last 6 k, even if she couldn’t hear me. “You can do this, Mel”. “Mel, I have you attached me, let’s go. I am pulling you up this hill.” “You are looking strong Mel.”. “Sharon is cheering us on with a Canada flag, let’s run to her.” “We are picking up the pace, Mel, you can do it.” Everything I needed to hear from myself I said out loud to Mel. I am sure the other racers around me thought I was nuts but focussing on her helped me run my race. Crossing the finish line together is something I will cherish forever.
Even though this was my second slowest half marathon time and I was in pain almost the entire race, it was one of my best mental races. I am proud of the decisions I made during the race. The decision to turn off my pace and just run; the decision to run with my best friends; the decision to take it all in; the decision to focus on someone else and not myself. I am proud I managed a negative split, but what makes me most proud is that I helped a friend complete her race, which ultimately helped me complete mine!
