Chinook OD
Warning: the following may include mushiness, personal content and some F bombs.
I had to write this as soon as I got home. As some of you may know, I have had four incredibly hard years. I have spent a lot of those four years training in my head. Every run, bike and swim I have battled what was happening domestically and personally.
Last year was my worst season, every race I had "female issues" and was struggling with low iron as well as feeling utterly shity and sad about my life. The Apple was my only decent race, and I fell at that one.
This year things are slowly getting better. Today was a training day, as I have my eye on the 70.3. Today was about getting my race legs and working out some kinks. I did not think that this would be my best time as I am very tired from fundraising mania, helping my kids get to dance camp in Disneyland. But today I got a lot more than I bargained for.
The swim felt great, as I was trying a new head position and I was just "swimming", I kept bumping into Tara and when I realized it was her – I said "sorry Tara". I got out of the water and still felt good. Then on to the bike, it was a tougher ride up the hill and against the wind – but something was different today. I felt good, I felt strong and I wasn't verbally beating myself up. At this point I could care less about my time – it was fun, I was having fun. I felt so good, no guilt for not doing everything Angie asked me to do – I have been training consistently – I was not frustrated by the people passing me – I barley noticed, I was looking forward, I felt good.
After the turn around I went to this place, a race zone that I don't recall going to before. My mind, body, emotions and spirit were one. I was experiencing harmony and self pride. For goodness sake, I was exercising and moving my body, in a way that not a lot of people do. I was not handicapped or physically incapable of doing this, I was no longer mentally tortured by myself or my life circumstances. I was happy, I was riding for me. I have a job where 100% of me go toward helping other, I am a mother where 100% goes towards making sure they are okay, happy, fed, clean, exercised, schooled, and socialized. 98% of my days are usually about others. Today was about me and ME and my fine self. I love this sport and I love the fact that I can do it. Usually I am so bummed because I am really slow, but I totally did not care or even think about that. I was playing.
As I was heading back after the turn around I came flying down those hills – I thought at one point ”man this seems fast" – I checked and I was doing 60k. "WEEE look at me go" was my exact thought.
I was happy when I came into transition and happy when I left – felt good and kept going. I was once again having this strange experience of joy in my body, mind, emotions and spirit. I felt good. I stopped looking at my watch and just went with it. I was not upset at people passing me (as they always do), I was just running for me. I recall passing a few people and around the 7 k mark I started to see how far I could push it and gave it my all. This year I was not running with the people who looked like they were about to dye. I even had some one say "I thought for sure I could catch you – but I just couldn't. When I was finished I was still happy and glad to be spending time with myself for 3 and a half hour. Yes I know that this is quite slow.
My final time – I really don't fucking care – I had fun, I am a triathlete, and all else fails I put my bid in for voting myself as Miss Congeniality.
Thanks Team, your are all wonderful and thanks Angie.
Christine…slow and happy
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